Sunday, March 17, 2013

What kind of mom are you?

I was asked this recently.  I didn't know how to respond, so I asked what they meant.  They asked if I was the friend or disciplinarian.  I said both.  I mean, I am really. Aren't most moms?  We can't be mean the whole time.  And most of the time I am the friend.  So anyway, it got me thinking...why am I the friend?

My son is 12 years old.  He's in middle school.  We've been through a lot together.  When I found out I was pregnant I was just 20 years old, I had no idea what I was going to do.  All I knew was I was going to be a mom.  As horrible as it sounds, I never thought of myself as the "mom" type.  (of course I was 20 years old, and a complete idiot...)  To be really honest, my husband and I didn't really know if we wanted children.  But yeah, we did things that makes babies.  And I don't need to go into detail.  

Shortly after our son turned 3, my husband joined the military.  He was gone a lot.  I mean a whole lot.  We added up the time he served was 58 months, out of those 58 months, he was gone about 40 months, that includes training and two deployments.  That's a lot of time to be with our son one on one.  For most of that time he was the only friend I had.  When we lived in Germany and it was just us two, I didn't hang out with many other moms.  Since we moved to Virginia, my husband has done a total of 12 months deployed and a couple of months of training.  I think that because of this reason, J and I are really close.  We have a special bond.  We kinda grew up together, I was practically a kid when I had him.  Not many people know what it's like to be without their husbands long term, and it's super hard to relate to people sometimes.  But J knows what I mean, even if he is a kid.

So I guess I am the friend most of the time.  He knows when I mean business, and he knows when I'm kidding.  He's a spectacular kid, well rounded, and a sweetheart.  (most of the time)  I do the best I know how as his mom, and if being his friend is wrong, then I don't want to be right.  Now I'm not going to be "that" mom that lets her kid do anything.  And I'm also not going to be that mom that hangs out with her kid when he's in high school.  That would be weird.  I never liked those moms, they always seemed to be living through their children.  He is his own person, and I want it to stay that way.  And there are rules.  Lots of them.

So what kind of mom are you?  If you're not a mom yet, what kind of mom do you want to be?


  1. You are a FANTASTIC mom. If I ever screw up and get pregnant, I want to be JUST LIKE YOU!

    1. Aww, thanks! You'd be just like me, I'm sure of it!!

  2. LOL @ Pam's comment.

    I loved reading more about the type of mom you are, and why. It makes sense. Growing up, my mom was definitely the friend and my dad was the disciplinarian. Things are different now! I would SUCK as a mom, so I am not even going to think about what I would be like!