Saturday, February 22, 2014

My quest to be great at all the things...

I'm a mom, wife, student, friend.  Basically in that order.  Most days.  Some days I'm a student, student, student, student.  Do I feel bad?  Sometimes, but not all the time.

I am in nursing school.  I know it is supposed to be difficult, I mean do you really want someone to take care of you that has no idea what they are doing?  

I didn't think so.

I've been working on my RN for the past 1 1/2 years now.  I will finish in May.

Going back to school when you are 33 years old is not for the weak.  Hell, I'd say it's even harder to go back when you have a family.  And I'm super lucky since I have the support of my hubby.

So why do I feel so guilty?

Well you see, I'm an overachiever.  I think I can do it all.  I think that in order to be successful I have to be great at all things.  I have to be an awesome mom, superb wife, "A" student, and cool friend.

I've feel as though I only have the "A" student thing down.  

I feel bad for studying all the time.  All day and night.  I go to school before the family is up, and when they get home I'm upstairs in the office studying.

I often get these questions from my 13 year old: 

"Mom, how much longer are you gonna study?"

I have a test tomorrow that is 50 questions, and they are NCLEX style, where all the answers are correct, but I have to pick the best...I'm gonna be here a bit longer.

"Are you gonna cook, or are we on our own tonight?"

No, I have to make sure the patient I take care of tomorrow gets the best care ever.  He has a rare congenital heart defect and he had surgery to repair it today, oh AND his parents abandoned him in the hospital.  

"Did you remember to pick up the granola bars I've been out of for 2 weeks?"

No, I was trying to make sure you had clean underwear and socks to wear to school, I thought you'd like to not go naked, or in dirty clothes.

The other day when he asked me to take him to school on a rare day I'm out of school AND clinical:

"Can you take me to school, it's not like you have anything else to do today"

Yeah, I have absolutely nothing going on, I need to pick up those granola bars you asked me about 2 weeks ago, and guess what?  You've dirtied more underwear and socks.  Oh AND I have another test this week, the same day I have a quiz I've not even begun to study for.  

Do I feel guilty?  


I love my kid and husband more than words can express in this blog.  They are the reason I try so hard to do it all.  I want them to be proud of me.  I will do anything to make them happy.  

Deep down I believe I was put on this earth to be a nurse.   

I cannot imagine being anything else, no other job in my mind can be more rewarding.  

So yes, I'll keep studying, I'll keep doing it all, because this is my calling.

And if you see me at the hospital and I have dark circles under my eyes, my hair is a mess, and maybe my clothes are wrinkled...

Don't judge me, I've probably been up too long, I forgot to get the clothes out of the dryer as soon as they were done, and got up wayyyyyyy too early to take care of you.

But I promise it'll be the best care you've ever received.  


  1. You will be the best nurse! Your passion for it comes through, here! :) And I bet your husband and son understand how stressful it is and that you want to do your best!!! I guess you should ask if he prefers dirty clothes over granola bars, though ;)

    1. I'm just ready to be done. I know I'm gonna be awesome (I totally am already!!)

      I know the hubby gets's just that teenage kid that doesn't understand!

  2. I notice you put "friend" last in your "mom, wife, student, friend" list. Well, you're the best damn friend a person could ask for. So if you're putting that as your weakest point, I say you got nothing to worry about regarding the first three!

  3. Nursing is a TON of work and the school for it is intense - but nurses are some of the most amazing people in the world. (I did the hr side of an oncology clinic before I stayed home with my kids.) It takes a special kind of person - one with drive, intensity, and lots, lots, lots of compassion. Kudos to you!

    1. It sure is a ton of work! I'm glad people appreciate the fact that it isn't easy and that we work so hard! Sometimes people that aren't exposed to the healthcare profession have no idea!